I have been reflecting on my first year in full-time professional ministry. Is it what I expected? Is it what I hoped for? Yes and no. There are many things I love about my job, but I'd like to reflect on one of the things that I would like to improve: being a pastor.
At seminary there was a big push to help us articulate a philosophy of ministry. As I reflect on the first year here, I find myself reflecting on "The Shepherd of the Hills." It is an excellent novel set in the ozark hills of southern Missouri. I will not give away too much in case some of you have not read it, but it is about a man who ran away from his life in the city to find peace and rest in the hills. In the hills, the man becomes loved by all the people and becomes the shepherd of the hills.
I wonder, after this year in ministry, if being a pastor hasn't gotten in the way of me being a pastor. I find myself feeling more like the church's business manager than like the people's pastor. To me being a pastor is about prayer, preaching the word and administering the sacraments, and being a spiritual friend to the people in my parish. I have always loved this poem by Eugene Peterson:
"I want to study God’s Word long and carefully
so that when I stand before you and preach and teach I will be accurate.
I want to pray, slowly and lovingly,
so that my relation with God will be inward and honest.
And I want to be with you, often and leisurely,
so that we can recognize each other as close companions on the way of the cross
and be available for counsel and encouragement to each other."
Yet I feel consumed by meetings and finance and scheduling and organizing and administration and ...
There has to be a better way. There has to be a better way to love people than to plan meetings. There has to be a better way to walk with people than to sit behind a desk coordinating a calendar. There has to be a better way. The early church refused to let the apostles be consumed by such tasks. They designated 7 deacons to oversee the day to day work of the church so the apostles could focus on preaching, teaching, and praying. How have we come so far off the path?
And so I am left pondering, is being a pastor the biggest obstacle to being a pastor?
posted by EF + at 4:41 PM
2 Comments:
You sound a little like your Mother. I remember asking her one time if she wished she had gone on for her bachelors of nursing in addition to her 3 yr degree to be an RN. She said no because she wanted to work with the patients not do the paperwork those with a bachelors had to do. Of course she still had some paperwork, but she loved working with the people.
I hear you saying the same thing. Is it possible to delegate some of the duties to others in the church? No pastor can do it all, so parishiners must carry some of the load. That makes it their church too, as they take some of the responsibility.
Sometimes we feel like no one else can do things as well as we can so we don't allow them the opportunity to try. We all learn as we do things. I know you cannot delegate everything, but I would encourage you to delegate those things that can be delegated. Give the church members ownership in the parish.
You and Antonina take care. I am looking forward to your little one. Love, Wanda
Aaaaaah! I just wanna be a pastor too! how, how, how? I'm tired of some sh-crappy McEucharist (peel-a-meal) once a quarter! Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on us! I just want to sit and pray with someone without having to plan a stupid event. The church doesn't need another d-dang Trunk-n-Treat! It needs more going to schools and reading to little kids or helping with homework! No, I will not start a "Christian" football league. Can you even be Christian and play football? I just want to be a pastor! I just want to pray for my people and not fall asleep from absolute exhaustion! I want to break bread with them and not hear some rediculousness about how it's too catholic (whatever that means!)! I just want to love my kids without having to clean up their vomit (I was just kidding there, I haven't had anyone throw up. . . yet). I'm with you on this one.
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